Every parent has rules that they expect their children to follow. Some are expected especially those that concern about their safety. But then there are those who are heavily disputed — like spanking or being strict.
In this video, I share 7 controversial rules that I have implemented in my household for my daughter to follow.
So what exactly are the 7 rules?
In no particular order, here they are
- Never tell my daughter she is talented
- Never compare her to anyone else
- Never pick her up if she falls down
- Never let her feel she is equal to her parents
- Spanking is necessary sometimes
- No to using social media to promote herself
Never tell my daughter she is talented
The logic used here is simple.
I want her to understand that success or glory is not attained by depending on what you consider your natural talent rather using whatever gifts you have, sharpening them with the countless number of laser-focused hard work to ensure success. So if my daughter were to achieve something by doing nothing, I wouldn’t bother being excited about it. However, if my daughter showed me something she did, even if it wasn’t perfect but she put in hours of effort, dedication & focus — that to me would be something to celebrate about
Never compare my daughter to anyone else
I was raised in a traditional Indian family where it was customary to constantly be reminded how less intelligent, less smart or less accomplished I was ‘in comparison to someone else of my age. This went on and on throughout my life to the point where if I didn’t hear myself being compared to someone, I wouldn’t have known where I stood.
This however made me an individual who never evaluated his sense of worth or achievement by comparing himself to himself rather himself to others — something that made me try hard to become someone else. Today, however, I only follow one style of comparison — what I was yesterday to what I am today. And if I can see progress — that is enough for me to be content with.
Never pick her up if she falls down
Ever noticed what happens when a small girl falls down? The mother or father always come running to pick up their child. Me, however, I refuse to do this.
I follow a policy — if you fall down — you lift yourself up.
Simply because in life, when you are a nothing and nobody — no one cares. Why why not make it a habit to lift yourself up instead of hoping for a knight in shiny armour to come to your rescue?
Never let her feel she is equal to her parents
When I discipline my daughter, I never kneel down to the level of my daughter. Rather I stand tall in front of her. She should be made aware that she is smaller to her parents both physically as well as non-physically. This in turn will teach her the realities of life — you have to earn your way to the top — be it in terms of respect or achievement.
Also — Obedience is extremely important for success.
Spanking is necessary sometimes
In a day and age of giving importance to equal rights or communicating with children in a way that doesn’t offend them — we have forgotten how powerful lessons were taught to us as kids — that too with a good round of physical discipline. I am not trying to endorse physical abuse. Rather physical discipline. And this comes from a guy who has seen the worst of physical abuse and witnessed how doing absolutely nothing destroys lives. A balance is always necessary.
No to using social media to promote herself
I may sound like a hypocrite saying this but my daughter will not use social media. At least until she is old enough to understand the impact it has. And to answer why — its simple. Go to Instagram or TikTok or Facebook and see the content being shared. If you think you can spend 24 hours of the day making sure your child doesn’t get exposed to what is not appropriate — I would say, good luck with that.
I need not say more.
Who Am I?
Google: Loy Machedo
(Article Number 9)