I have a sizable number of followers in my social media groups. And among the sizable number of followers are also my sizable number of haters, critics and yes, my trolls.
For some reason, more than my energy, enthusiasm and eagerness, my trolls, my critics and my haters would rain down on my parade every single time.
In fact, it is not uncommon for me to receive on an average more than 5 emails or message a day from my haters to let me know my short-comings, failures or why I seriously shouldn’t even exist.
And these messages range from personal attacks, professional slander to even profanity laced comments.
So now the question is — How do I cope up with my critics & online trolls?
Here are my strategies:
- CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE
I do not look at my haters & critics as something bad. In fact, I look at them as my tough teachers & trainers who make me go through the difficult & unpleasant training sessions. And these sessions make me tough. The best analogy I have is I consider them to be Military Grade Coaches. The ones who will abuse me, shout at me, scream at me and make me feel like shit. And all I have to do is endure. And if I endure, I will come out better, stronger, more powerful & tougher. Automatically, you will stop hating your haters.
- IT DEVELOPS LEADERSHIP DURABILITY & STAMINA
Remember, whatever your online trolls & haters do online is ONLY online. None of it is real. You have a wonderful option of switching them ‘off’ or ‘deleting their comments’ or ‘blocking them’. However, you cannot do this in real life. If your boss is against you, if your colleagues are out to get you and if there are people in your circle of influence whom you cannot get rid of — what can you do? So this is where your online trolls, haters, and critics will give you the mental edge & strength that you need.
- IT KEEPS YOU ALERT & ACTIVE
I do not know if this is your problem but this is mine. If life is too easy and fun, I become lazy and take things for granted. However, when things become difficult and painful, I am always on the edge. Thanks to my haters, my critics and my trolls, I am always on the edge. I am forced to pay attention to what I am saying and what I am doing. I am always on the edge. And this keeps me sharp, focused and forces me to up my game. I owe this to my haters!
- GOOD OR BAD, DOESN’T MAKE IT SO
This one may sound funny — but just because you call me good — doesn’t make me a better person than I am. and just because you call me bad, doesn’t make me more evil than I am. I am who I am and I am me. Your certificate of appreciation or your paper of blame doesn’t change who I am. I know who I am. I don’t need anyone’s validation for it. So my haters can call me names & my admirers can praise me to the level of a superstar — doesn’t change me or influence me one bit.
- HATERS ONLY KNOW HOW TO HATE
This is one fact of life. If someone has to hate you, they will hate you for anything and everything you do. You can donate all your money to the poor, you can give your life to the needy, you can make your entire purpose for the benefit of mankind — your haters will still find something to hate you for. They will look at anything and everything with suspicion & negativity. So don’t bother trying to please your haters.
- REMEMBER YOUR PRIORITIES
What matters to you the most? Your family? Your health? Your loved ones? Money? In my case, what matters to me the most is Money, Health, Family & My Brand. Nothing else. I have been on the streets penniless, I have endured and suffered immensely the failures of life and I have seen days when there was nothing and nobody. So I am very clear what matters to me. All the amazing words, the compliments, the abuses, the praise, the bad words — none of it mattered when I was suffered, I endured alone. And none of these words helped me. But here is something for you to keep in mind — the critics, the jokes, the mockery, the fun, the painful words — they added fuel to the fire and made me want to never give up.
- YOU ARE HATED BECAUSE YOU ARE IMPORTANT
Do you ever spend time thinking about the cleaner? Are you jealous of the garbage collector? Do you find yourself being envious of your junior colleague who earns maybe 50% lesser than you do?
People always get jealous of those people who are better than them, bigger than them, smarter than them and more successful than them. The same principle applies with haters. So be glad you are being hater, targeted and focused upon. Better to be focused upon than to be ignored and not exist!
- VALUABLE FEEDBACK
This may come as a surprise to you but some of the best money making ideas came to me courtesy of my haters. For example — having the library of books as the backdrop for my videos, charging clients for my advice, having better content for my videos — all came in courtesy of my haters, my trolls and the critics. Had they not given me this ‘feedback’ so to speak, I would have continued doing whatever it was that I was doing and never improved. So your critics and haters can really help you get better if you pay attention to them.
The important point I want you to keep in mind is this.
Your haters will only point out what is VERY BAD about you. You should use that information to improve and get better.
- GOOD THINGS HAPPEN!
Let me give you the latest incident that took place. Thanks to all my haters and critics on Quora, I got banned. Now, under normal circumstance, if my entire brand was surviving only because of Quora, I would have been absolutely enraged and angry. But thanks to my haters who got me banned, I was able to move my content from Quora to Medium — which has proved better for my brand, from being a writer & coach who gave free content to now a person who gives the same FREE content for a FEE. And best part — now I am able to focus more on my website & youtube content — which brings more brand visibility. And I owe this to my haters.
- BE CAREFUL OF NOT HATERS BUT THE SWEET SEDUCTIVE SNAKES
Its a fact that we get betrayed, cheated or stabbed in the back NOT by our enemies but by the people who love the most, trust the most or believe the most. In other words — our friends. NEVER by our enemies and haters. So you should be more happier that you know whom your haters. At least they are honest enough to tell you the truth. What I tell people is that be careful NOT of the ones who you can see and who want to cause you harm. But those you cannot see. Because it is these invisible snakes that will strike you when you least expect it. And these are the poisonous bites that really do the harm. The maximum harm.
- THE REALITY OF LIFE
End of the day this is a reality of life you cannot escape — if you are special, if you are successful, if you are happy, if you are someone worthwhile — then and only then people will talk about you, hate you, spread rumors about you, talk negative about you, be jealous about you and be green with envy where you are concerned. If you were normal — it wouldn’t matter as it would be boring. That is why learn to accept Haters, critics and Trolls as a part of life. Just as there is good & bad, ying and yang, there will always be the Trolls, the Haters & the Critics to keep your life exciting.